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Month: September 2005

Paris, you’re fired!

Paris, you’re fired!

Tuesday I saw Paris Hilton and company “driving” through the intersection of Laurel Canyon and Oxnard as I was coming home from work. If it had been Wednesday I would have been able to whip out my handy dandy new little camera…but it wasn’t…so you’ll have to trust me. I’m pretty sure it was her, after all, how many other 55 pound blonde girls with $5,000 sun glasses can swerve around in a 90 thousand dollar land rover barely missing the other cars around it. I’m sure she and her spoiled little friends were saying “shit shit shit! We’re lost! We’re in the ghetto! Paris get us out of here!”

So anyway, you may have heard about the huge fire consuming the northern San Fernando Valley. The irony is that all the news media out here spend most of their time talking about how the fire is threatening poor millionaires and celebrity’s homes. The fire started Wednesday morning near the exit I usually take off of the highway to go to work. I took my camera with me today and took pictures in the morning (approx 7am), again right after work (approx. 4pm), and then up on Mullholland Drive (approx 7pm) to show how the smoke is now covering the entire valley. To see what I’m talking about check out this zip folder. The drive home was really weird, like a Martian landing or something. The smoke and heat from the fire were blowing over all of Chatsworth, but the smoke hadn’t really come down into the lower air. Everything was cast in this eerie red light that reminded me of the mars lander photos and little white pieces of ash were coming down everywhere like snow. I turned on the AC and made believe I was in Ohio in December. By the time I left for Mullholland Drive at 6pm the smoke had blown down into the whole San Fernando Valley making it hard to breathe. I didn’t care much though as Selwyn is out of town and a current guest apparently smoked a whole box of cigarettes in the house today. So, the only place I could breathe today (other than at work) was in my car!

Saturday Amy and I are planning a trip Santa Barbara where Andrew (here brother that goes to UCSB) will give us a tour. Also, we are celebrating Iyves’ 23rd birthday.

Everything okay in Texas

Everything okay in Texas

I realized that I do have family in Texas yesterday possibly affected by Rita. I gave my cousin Annie who lives in Woodlands Texas a call to see if she was alright. Here is a partial part of the email she sent me this morning:

Andrew,

Thanks for the call. I am fine. I stayed put for the hurricane. The
Woodlands did not sustain damage, mainly fallen branches and millions of
pine needles. Most of our power lines are burried, we did not lose power.

I visited Annie with Mom on our drive through Texas a little over a year ago. She lives outside of Houstin in an area that has a great many pine trees.

go figure

go figure

So last night Amy and I decided to take a leisurely drive over Mulholland Drive after sun-down. Hey – if you want to know what Mulholland Drive looks like just keep a lookout for the new “driveable headlights” commercial for the VW passat (guy in passat follows cyclist at night). I just saw the ad and thought “hey I was just there last night…and those turning lights really would have come in handy!” But hey, since most tv commercials are filmed out here – I end up saying things like that a lot.

Speaking of being “out here.” I’ve now been out here for a year and then some.

On Thursday night after a three month hiatus, Aldo decided his back was well enough to jam with us again.. It was also an opportunity to try out a new guy on bass. The guy didn’t work out, but no matter, as Aaron sent me his resignation notice the next day anyway. So, looks like it’s gonna be another long hiatus before I play music again. This has made me focus all (or a lot of) my energy on the scripts. Supposedly Chi (who I’ve been told is a genius of sorts) is moving out here in January to join us in the script/production company adventure. I hope so.

In health news, something funky is going on with my ring finger on my right Handy. It was all cracked and everything and then I got my first ever ingrown fingernail (ha! You thought I was going to say “G6”…but no, this is a REAL first). Amy wins the competition though with what we (and my mom the medical professional is included) think is a broken rib. We’ll find out when she gets back from the doctor tomorrow.

I’m very close to ordering new art supplies for painting. I’ve been sketching Amy for a month or so to get back into the spirit of “serious” art making. I can almost smell the mineral spirits now.

By the way, Cingular’s mobile to mobile hype is a bunch of bullshit. Amy got a Cingular phone/plan in August. She is the only person I call nowadays (a lot anyway) so I didn’t pay attention to minutes used anymore. After getting an $80 bill (supposed to be 30+tax) I found the fine print that says both phones have to have “mobile to mobile minutes.” According to the fine print “Mobile to Mobile minutes” is a legal phrase that means – each phone must have a plan paying $40 a month or more (before tax) and have signed up for the new plan since January 2005 and also must have signed a two year contract. I guess I should have seen it coming seeing as the “Cingular all-over network with more bars in more places” doesn’t include Los Angeles, a city with over four million people and a local economy to rival most nations.

Wow, Seth Macfarlane is out of ideas. The season premier of Family Guy was funny enough, but the premiere of American Dad is a knock-off of a King of the Hill episode when Hank and Peggy don’t want Bobby to be taught about sex education in school so Peggy ends up teaching the class. In American Dad, the dad teaches the class. How original. Not surprising since American Dad is a poor offshoot of Family Guy that exists only to espouse the political jokes that didn’t seem at home being discussed by the Griffin family but Macfarlane knew we HAD to hear. There is a Dick Cheney is evil joke in every episode. Now, don’t get me wrong, Dick Cheny IS evil and deserves to be the but of more jokes than Monica Lewinsky, but that is what we have the Daily Show for. Or at least I did when I had cable. Maybe I should stop talking while I’m still ahead. Too late.

Ha ha! yes! I knew it!

Ha ha! yes! I knew it!

so-called “Guitar legend” Esteban was stripped of his legendary status this week when it was discovered that he is an entirely fictional character created specifically to sell pressboard guitars in infomercials.

Allan Holdsworth, guitar legend and president of “Real Guitar Legends For Truth” released a statement on Monday calling for the immediate cessation of all applications of the appellation “Guitar legend” to the television character known as “Esteban”. According to the statement, “Esteban is a fictional character created by L.A. session guitarist Dan Fernaueu for the express purpose of marketing a cheap, poorly constructed guitar-like instrument on the Home Shopping Channel.”

The scandal intensified when the Recording Academy revealed that claims that “Esteban” had won “several Grammys” were false.

These charges come on the heels of last month’s statement from the Musical Instrument Manufacturers Association that the “Esteban” guitar could not, in fact, be classified as an actual guitar due to the fact that it is constructed out of reclaimed materials such as discarded telephone directories and medical waste. The MIMA demanded that the instrument be classified as a toy.

I miss you so much

I miss you so much

Just so y’all know… I’m still without internet at home. I can check most everything at work..however, my domain (andrewlorenzlong.com) has apparently been permanently blocked by the firewall at work. that means no blog updates unless I can do it at Amy’s. I only have time to say this today.