So Sunday night I caught the first few minutes of “Locusts” on CBS. The opening scenes featured Lucy Lawless in little more than a bra. Somehow this made her look even more masculine. Next up was some lab scene that featured a bunch of close-ups of locusts (grasshoppers?). I like bugs, so I watched until the blonde bimbo got attacked. Apparently I should have watched longer

I received this email from my dad this morning:

If you missed that instant classic “locusts” on CBS Sunday night, I recommend you
waste a couple of hours just to see how bad a product can get. I was alerted to it
when we were down in New Orleans last month. I was walking down towards lee circle
and walked into a bunch of people sort of standing around acting odd. I wandered
around for a few minutes trying to figure what was going on and then I noticed a
dolly track and a camera. I wandered towards the camera (figured they were shooting
a cheap local add) and then a young Hispanic man ran up and told me to get out of
the movie they were shooting. I stepped back out of the scene and stood there and
then the consummate pro that he was noticed my camera “and we can’t allow you to take
any pictures, either”.

How bad can it get? Xena and B.J. Hunnicut are the major stars–the scene I was “in”
was shown as being in Pittsburg-and a dumb blonde with 15 pounds of boobs spilling
out of her dress actually said “he’s all that and a bag of chips” to her plain
friend about an obvious flaming queen who is a Christian (wacko).