In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods that can be found today being sold in stores nationwide:
1. On Sears hairdryer:
“Do not use while sleeping.”
(But…, that’s the only time I have to work on my hair)
2. On a bar of Dial soap:
“Directions: Use like regular soap.”
(And that would be how. . . ?)
3. On some Swanson frozen dinners:
“Serving suggestions: Defrost.”
(But it’s “just” a suggestion)
4. On Tesco’s Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of box):
“Do not turn upside down.”
(Oops, too late!)
5. On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
“Product will be hot after heating.”
(Hmm . . . .)
6. On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
“Do not iron clothes on body.”
(But wouldn’t this save even more time?)
7. On Boot’s Children’s Cough Medicine:
“Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this
medication.”
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents
if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head colds off those
forklifts.)
8. On Nytol Sleep Aid:
“Warning: May cause drowsiness.”
(One would hope)
9. On most brands of Christmas lights:
“For indoor or outdoor use only.”
(As opposed to underwater?)
10. On a Japanese food processor:
“Not to be used for the other use.”
(I gotta admit, I’m curious.)
11. On Sainsbury’s peanuts:
“Warning: Contains nuts.”
(NEWS FLASH)
12. On a child’s Superman costume:
“Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.”
(I don’t blame the company, I blame parents for this one.)
13. On a Swedish chain saw:
“Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.”
(Was there a chance of this happening somewhere? . . . Good grief!)
14. On a bottle of Palmolive Dishwashing liquid:
“Do not use on food.”
(Hey, Mom, we’re out of syrup! It’s OK, honey, just grab the Palmolive!
One time Megan Hamm came to school with a giant iron shaped burn on the back of her leg. She thought that she could iron that wrinkle she missed out of her skirt by hold the skirt out away from her leg and ironing it in the air….oops, she slipped!
wow, I guess that girl survived on looks alone.
do you remember when Burns and Edgell brought a bird on a leash to school?
No, I wish I remembered that! Those guys were freakin hilarious!
In Megan’s defense though…she works in physical therapy now and seems to have her shit together. She married Jesse Rollins. They have a house in Belpre right now, but I think they are moving to either, Zanesville or Athens…can’t remember which.
oh. Well that is good. The last I knew of her and Stephanie was when they were sharing an apartment together in Athens. I think Austin and I tried to visit them once and they weren’t home…
No idea who Jesse Rollins is… should I know?
you might not know Jesse. He has a twin brother named Jason. I think they graduated in 97? maybe 96.? They used to hang out with Jason Greenwalt…and some others…Chan Wentz, Brett Marlow…they’re all a few years older than us. I’m sure they were at a few parites while we were in HS. Chan is my best friend up in Columbus so I still see all of those guys occasionally, actually, alot during Buckeye Football.
some of those names sound familiar…but…not enough to draw a face out of memory
You might not have known them. If you are really bored, and curious, Chan is one of the first friends on my friend list, he has a pic of all of them in his pics. I left a comment and named them all if you want to try to jog your memory…wow, I must be REALLY bored right now…just trying to keep my mind busy so it doesn’t wander…