As if Mother Nature was trying to tell me there are bigger things to worry about than my current troubles – I finally actually felt an earthquake for the first time last night. According to the earthquake report it was a 4.5. It was a bizarre experience as I woke up in the middle of it hearing various objects fall from their perch. No apparent damage though, so all is well.

Now, I suppose I should mention all that isn’t well. Last weekend I noticed my left headlight was burnt out. That was a minor problem to fix. The larger stress inducing event happened Monday night. After going to the gym I checked my mail (as I do EVERY SINGLE DAY) to find a collections notice in the amount of $681. I called the company immediately and they said I had a traffic citation (“red-light citation”) on March 15th – and an ensuing court date on April 26th that I “failed to appear” for. Hard to show up for court when you never get the citation notice, isn’t it?

Obviously the collections agency didn’t care about my plight and informed me that if I didn’t pay before hanging up the phone I could have my license suspended or worse. Now, mind you – the letter I received contained no official documentation from the DMV or any other government office –and the agency is located in Texas. The first thing I thought was “scam!” and I hung up the phone and decided to take this matter up with the DMV instead. I called the automated DMV information line and ascertained that, yes, I did have a citation on March 15th, and it had been turned over to collections.

The next day I called the DMV every five minutes for six hours before finally getting in a que at number 78. When I finally reached the clerk she told me I had to have the collections agency set up a time for an arraignment to go before a judge again. She also said that the California DMV was not legally allowed to take away my license for a “non-signature camera citation” and that the collection agency had been breaking the law by threatening me (surprise surprise).

My first call to “GC Services” resulted in a “manager” saying he would call me back (for what reason he couldn’t answer my questions immediately I have no idea) after I spent much time on hold. He never called. So, I called again. This time I ended up being transferred to someone “nice” (I’m fairly certain they tagged my file in some way that I wasn’t a moron that was just going to get out my checkbook after their basic intimidation techniques). The woman I was transferred to said that the best course of action would be to go to the actual courthouse and get a copy of the citation first and then set up an arraignment. She also let slip that the majority of calls she takes about these camera-citations are from unsuspecting motorists who never received the original citation. She said she had worked there for four years and the majority of her California calls resemble mine.

I had intended to go to the Van Nuys Superior courthouse when they opened this morning – but a helpful former private investigator friend of mine informed me that the morning is the busiest time for that court and that I should attempt to conduct my business later in the afternoon. So – wish me luck….

By the way – March 15th is the day I picked up my mother from the airport on her last visit. Call me crazy, but I would probably drive better with my mother in the car than normal – so it will be interesting to find out what this ticket is for.